If you had a magic wand...
One of the privileges of my job is hearing clients describe the subtle shifts that begin to emerge as our work progresses. They might think of themselves differently, use new language to describe an old problem, pause before following a familiar pattern or tentatively acknowledge something that they have previously dismissed. One way I sometimes invite a client to explore such a shift is by imagining a different outcome. I might ask: “If you had a magic wand, what would you want to happen? Where would you be? How would you like to feel?”
While some clients engage with this readily, others do not want to go there at all. I may be curious about what the question evokes but I do not push it and the invitation does not have to be taken up. Being able to imagine a brighter future is not evidence that someone is “doing therapy” better and a reluctance to participate may simply mean that this way of working does not suit that person at that moment. The therapeutic space belongs to the client and our work is collaborative.
When a client does want to explore these questions, I invite them to think about their dreams as aspirations and I use that word deliberately. For some people, it seems to soften the internal voice that quickly says, “That’s unrealistic”, “Don’t be silly” or “That will never happen”. In Transactional Analysis terms, it can give the Natural Child a little more space to be authentic and creative and quieten the Critical Parent long enough for something meaningful to emerge.
This is not quite the same as encouraging positive thinking. Whether the imagined future is practical, achievable or even particularly likely is not initially the point. I am interested in what happens in the room when the person gives themselves permission to imagine and, in considering different possibilities, begins to acknowledge that they may have choices.
Some clients become thoughtful and quiet, while others become animated and energised. I observe the process – pensiveness, self-correction, a raised eyebrow, a smile or a new certainty about something that may have felt difficult to articulate. If appropriate, I offer my observations to the client. I might ask: “By thinking of how you would like things to be, what are you noticing in the here and now?” Sometimes clients tell me they have not visited that part of themselves for a very long time, and that it has been even longer since anyone else asked them about their hopes and dreams.
We look at the meaning attached to the dream. A seemingly fanciful wish can reveal a need for freedom, rest, connection, creativity, recognition or belonging. Someone who imagines giving up their current life and moving somewhere quiet, for example, may not literally want to disappear to the countryside. We look at what the image represents, which could be a longing for a simpler way of living, more space or less pressure. The dream can bring a value into clearer focus or help someone acknowledge a need they have become accustomed to pushing aside.
I find that clients are sometimes surprised by what a seemingly light-hearted question can generate. The invitation to consider different outcomes is not an attempt to escape reality or replace difficulty with optimism. I think of it as a way of exploring and reconnecting with what matters to the client and perhaps seeing possibilities that were previously difficult to imagine.
We agree to keep these discoveries on the virtual workbench of our therapeutic work, available to return to if and when they feel useful. Over time, they become part of a shared therapeutic language and I feel privileged to witness moments when something becomes newly visible, possible or meaningful to my clients. The discoveries and the changes belong to them; my role is to notice, to be curious and to accompany clients as they decide what, if anything, they want to do with what they have found.
Comments